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Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...

WHAT DOES SPIRITUALITY MEAN TO YOU?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

Do you want to know one of the greatest parts of ourselves that hold us back?

What do you think it is? What holds each of us back from becoming the people, the parents, we want to be?

A little something called… Homeostasis.

 That system within ourselves that keeps us within our comfort zone… or rather the practiced zone. That system that cools us down when we are too hot and warms us up when we’re too cold. That natural system that keeps us regulated, is also the thing that prevents us from achieving our own self-improvement.

Has that hit you as strongly as it did me when I first heard this?

I mean, I’d always felt that.

Why were New Years Resolutions, diet plans and biting nails so difficult to break? It had to be more than just laziness.

It makes complete sense. I just never saw it that clearly. I’d always thought that as Spirits we wanted to achieve more; that we are always learning and growing. But there’s the part of us that sighs, goes back to bed and says “I’ll start that new habit tomorrow.”

So, 80% of us wants to stay the same. I don’t mean 80% of us as a group, I mean 80% of ourselves.

We program ourselves to stay the same.

So, each time we react to our children, each time we don’t bother making a list of positive aspects, every time we see through a negative perspective or criticize another even though we feel bad about it… it’ s because there’s a huge part of us that is telling ourselves….

Don’t change. Keep the Same.

I don’t know about you… but on one side that can really upset me, I could feel hopeless and deflated.

But on the other side it empowers me to the hilt.

 Wait, that little voice that encourages me to not bother, or keeps me in my negative patterns is just myself trying to find balance and homeostasis? I can reprogram THAT!

I can now see it for what it really is. I don’t have to listen to it logically break down and convince me to just follow my spirals or bad moods. I don’t have to believe it, and I can darn well ignore it.

In fact, it makes me want to do everything differently. Call me a rebel! LOL

So, with the knowledge that a huge part of us wants to resist any change, I’ve compiled a simple list of 5 top ways of sparking the change we want to see within ourselves; From more positive parenting moments to more self care, let’s take control of our stories!

1)      Do something small. One small change practiced for 2-3 weeks. Do it at the same time every day. Try writing down 5 positive aspects about your day every night before bed. Make sure you do it EVERY NIGHT for at least 2 weeks. New habit.

2)      Support- I’ve learnt that nothing is more incredible than accountability. Get a Coach! (or a Family Alchemist) Share with your partner. Find a friend or group that wants to do the same thing. or start a group yourself. Anyway create accountability and someone will be there to remind you to keep your promise to yourself.

3)      Have a reminder. From post-its around the house to alarms on your phone do something that is going to break you out of your own sightlines. We all need reminders (remember 80% of ourselves is going to insist we forget.)

4)      Shift it around. If you usually try to clean up before having time with the kids, switch it. Play first. Have fun with it. Eat Lunch food for Dinner and dinner for lunch. Heck, try desert first. Why, because we get to choose, right? I mean you won’t know why it doesn’t work until you try it! Break small routines even just once and you can say you’ve done it. Spirit loves spontaneity!

5)      Forgive yourself. So often we fall back into bad habits and give up for a lost job. But with 80% of your mental programming telling you to give up, then you know that its just neural pathways that need re-programming. Forgive yourself, let it go and get back at it again in the morning.

 

Remember, our minds can be like wild animals (or chattering monkeys!)  and the best way to train them is with love and gentle guidance. Once we’ve allowed our mind to re-focus onto the direction we want, the rest is easy. It’s just that first break. That first step in control and with so many more people pursuing mindful living, you can always find the support system that works for you. So take that first step… and then take it one step at a time.

FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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