Do you want to know one of the greatest parts of ourselves that hold us back?
What do you think it is? What holds each of us back from becoming the people, the parents, we want to be?
A little something called… Homeostasis.
That system within ourselves that keeps us within our comfort zone… or rather the practiced zone. That system that cools us down when we are too hot and warms us up when we’re too cold. That natural system that keeps us regulated, is also the thing that prevents us from achieving our own self-improvement.
Has that hit you as strongly as it did me when I first heard this?
I mean, I’d always felt that.
Why were New Years Resolutions, diet plans and biting nails so difficult to break? It had to be more than just laziness.
It makes complete sense. I just never saw it that clearly. I’d always thought that as Spirits we wanted to achieve more; that we are always learning and growing. But there’s the part of us that sighs, goes back to bed and says “I’ll start that new habit tomorrow.”
So, 80% of us wants to stay the same. I don’t mean 80% of us as a group, I mean 80% of ourselves.
We program ourselves to stay the same.
So, each time we react to our children, each time we don’t bother making a list of positive aspects, every time we see through a negative perspective or criticize another even though we feel bad about it… it’ s because there’s a huge part of us that is telling ourselves….
Don’t change. Keep the Same.
I don’t know about you… but on one side that can really upset me, I could feel hopeless and deflated.
But on the other side it empowers me to the hilt.
Wait, that little voice that encourages me to not bother, or keeps me in my negative patterns is just myself trying to find balance and homeostasis? I can reprogram THAT!
I can now see it for what it really is. I don’t have to listen to it logically break down and convince me to just follow my spirals or bad moods. I don’t have to believe it, and I can darn well ignore it.
In fact, it makes me want to do everything differently. Call me a rebel! LOL
So, with the knowledge that a huge part of us wants to resist any change, I’ve compiled a simple list of 5 top ways of sparking the change we want to see within ourselves; From more positive parenting moments to more self care, let’s take control of our stories!
1) Do something small. One small change practiced for 2-3 weeks. Do it at the same time every day. Try writing down 5 positive aspects about your day every night before bed. Make sure you do it EVERY NIGHT for at least 2 weeks. New habit.
2) Support- I’ve learnt that nothing is more incredible than accountability. Get a Coach! (or a Family Alchemist) Share with your partner. Find a friend or group that wants to do the same thing. or start a group yourself. Anyway create accountability and someone will be there to remind you to keep your promise to yourself.
3) Have a reminder. From post-its around the house to alarms on your phone do something that is going to break you out of your own sightlines. We all need reminders (remember 80% of ourselves is going to insist we forget.)
4) Shift it around. If you usually try to clean up before having time with the kids, switch it. Play first. Have fun with it. Eat Lunch food for Dinner and dinner for lunch. Heck, try desert first. Why, because we get to choose, right? I mean you won’t know why it doesn’t work until you try it! Break small routines even just once and you can say you’ve done it. Spirit loves spontaneity!
5) Forgive yourself. So often we fall back into bad habits and give up for a lost job. But with 80% of your mental programming telling you to give up, then you know that its just neural pathways that need re-programming. Forgive yourself, let it go and get back at it again in the morning.
Remember, our minds can be like wild animals (or chattering monkeys!) and the best way to train them is with love and gentle guidance. Once we’ve allowed our mind to re-focus onto the direction we want, the rest is easy. It’s just that first break. That first step in control and with so many more people pursuing mindful living, you can always find the support system that works for you. So take that first step… and then take it one step at a time.
Christina Fletcher is a Spiritually Aware Parent Coach and Energy Healer who specializes in helping parents become heart centered and aligned to their highest vision of their parenting and of themselves. Through her background and training in religious and self development studies, as well as spirituality and conscious parenting, Christina helps parents dive past the “shoulds” created from their upbringing and society, and release beliefs that hold them back to create authentic, connected relationships with their children, and themselves. Using mindset techniques, practical spiritual tools such as simple meditation, the law of attraction and positive focus, as well as her training and gifts as an energy healer, Christina gives space for a mom or dad to drop into the feeling of satisfaction, alignment and relief, so they can tune in to what their children truly need and work from a centered perspective. She gives practical and spiritual advice on how to tune into a child’s perspective as well as concrete tools to pass on self awareness and mindful living to children as young as 3, so authenticity, emotional awareness, communication and connection can be the foundation for the whole family. Christina is a homeschooling mom of 2 daughters, (ages 16 and 15) and a 9 year old son. She is happily married to her husband Jeff. When their girls were born 10 months apart, Christina parented as she thought she “should”. Scheduled feeds, nights of pacing the floor with crying babies, and getting mad as they got older, she knows what it’s like to feel overwhelmed and in tears through those early years. It wasn’t until her girls were 3 and 4 that she decided her happiness mattered and that she wanted to have fun again. The change transformed everything, creating a powerful relationship with her children which is stronger than ever now that they are teens. When she was pregnant with her son, she became passionate about creating a spiritually aware pregnancy, and her connection with her son prior to his birth was crucial through some family tragedy taking place at that time. This later became the topic of her first book. Christina is passionate about helping parents create deep relationships with their children, from birth until fully grown. But she also knows that deep relationships with others can only be formed from a deep relationship with yourself, so through courses, coaching and her writing, she offers tools for the entire family so they can truly become self aware and present as everything they really are.