For most parents when a child is not compliant, he is considered disrespectful. The parent takes the behavior of the child personal and the goal is to make the child stop. In this scenario, the child’s world is not taken into account at all, the parent is not interested in what is going on with the child, the parent does not wonder why he is acting this way with true curiosity trying to find out what is the need the child is trying to meet. In the attempt of wanting the child to stop, the parent uses fear, manipulation, and control to get compliance.
This is the conditioning of the parent taking over of the situation, it happens unconsciously and it goes most times against the true intentions of the parent which is to love, support, understand, empower, teach and emotionally coach the child through hard times.
How do we start breaking free from beliefs and patterns passed down to us? Start by bringing awareness to your interactions with your child. Pay attention and realize what part you are playing in it. Be aware of any judgments coming up. Bring yourself to a state of calm before addressing the child. Remember your values. Act in alignment with who you truly are. Be the example.
-Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™
#isabelstafford #behavioriscommunication #consciousparenting #childrenneeds #betheexample #loveoverfear #liveinaligment
I support you with the hardest job of all, the raising of your precious children. I help you find joy, peace and ease dealing with your family challenges. I teach you to connect instead of divide by parenting through love. I work with parents who are committed to turning their family dynamic around, to bringing more peace to their homes and cooperation from their kids. In other words, I teach them how to stop yelling and punishing and how to parent through empathy and connection. Parents know when their approach is not working and when they reach out, I meet them right where they are, I offer them a judgment-free and confidential relationship, I guide them through their struggles, celebrate their successes and support them in their setbacks. After working with me you will feel confident about the best way to raise your children, you will feel a sense of peace and regain your joy knowing that every member of your family feels loved and valued, they are heard and they matter. You will be the parent you always wanted to be in the midst of any circumstance. I am a mother of three boys and I went from being the perfect parent in my fantasies to a “monster mom” in reality and in a matter of a couple of years after I had my first child. My world crumbled. It was chaos. And then I went to being a confident mom that gained her joy back thanks to a deep dive into conscious parenting, a long journey of inner work still to this moment and staying committed to being true to myself.
You may also enjoy:
Kids Learn Through What We Do
Let Me Love You a Little More
What to Do During a Tantrum
Tough Love isn’t Parenting
Our Kids’ Behavior is Telling Us They Have An Unmet Need
My kids’ first bully was ME
Shaming Isn’t Parenting
Why Punishment Doesn’t Work And What Does
Parenting Help: Finding Personalized Support is Easier Than You Think
Doing nothing is harder than you think
