Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...


When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

Stop that!  Be quiet!  Quit playing at the table and eat breakfast! Behave!  Hurry up; you’ll be late!  How many times do I have to tell you, get your backpack ready before you go to bed?

It’s easy to slip. When we are rushed to school and work, we may find ourselves yelling these phrases to sleepy kids.  Back to school, peaceful morning routines are possible. Supporting personal responsibility and more connectedness with our kids can happen when we cultivate positive communication.

Back to school time can bring a sense of new beginnings.  We can start new routines that make mornings happier and less stressful.  A few suggestions may be helpful for launching back to school routines that set and affirm peace and connection rather than tension and friction. Even, behaviorists tell us, connection is more effective than trying to extinguish negative behavior.

1.       Affirm the behaviors you want to see!
It is so much more effective to affirm the positive behavior when you see it, such as praising kids for doing homework, treating others respectfully or being responsible for themselves.  Here are a few examples.

·         “I really like how you put your finished homework in your backpack so we don’t look for it in the morning.

·         “Thank you for hanging up your coat so we find it easily again in the morning.”

·         “Thanks so much for pulling your little brother’s uniform out of the dryer when you got your own.”

·         Wow!  You are up 5 minutes earlier.  Thanks for setting your own alarm. I love hugging you in the morning instead of nagging you to get up.

2.       Prepare for success.  Have a school preparation plan and work the plan. Set clear expectations and follow through.

a.)        Go to Bed on Time and Set a Personal Alarm
Kids and adults can’t get up for school on time without going to bed on time.  Establish positive bedtime rituals and keep them.  (Reading books is ideal.) Buy your child his or her own alarm and thank them when they use it to get up.

b.)       Backpack Preparation
Backpacks should be packed the night before school.  Surprise them with something new in their backpack too!

c.)        School Clothes Preparation
Setting uniforms out the night before with all the accessories (including socks) helps avoid the morning rush.  Reward children when they do by allowing a special privilege when they get home that afternoon.

d.)       Practice What You Preach
Modeling the behavior you want is foundational to morning routine success. “See, I got my laptop bag ready for work ahead of time; I am so proud of myself!” Mom says.

Laura Lyles Reagan is a family sociologist and author of How to Raise Respectful Parents. She can be reached for parent coaching sessions through her website at

FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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