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I want to share my strongest, most unpopular belief: “Corporal punishment on children (spanking, slapping, hitting with an object, making someone eat unpleasant substances) is violence (actions or words intended to hurt people).”
I remember as a little child being afraid of the people in my life I was supposed to trust to keep me safe from all harm, my family. I remember how preoccupied I lived trying to please my parents and being the perfect daughter, I was so busy trying to be the picture they had of me that I had no time to be myself, I was afraid to. I was intentionally harmed and threaten so I would learn life lessons and to make sure I turned into a good person.
Fear shaped me, of course I turned out OK, I was the product of my conditioning, a “good little girl”. got the degree, got the house, got the husband, got the good life, at least that’s what I thought until I got the kids.
The wounds from childhood resurfaced, I faced my greatest battle within. That little child that was never heard or seen was still there waiting to be healed. My pain shaped me into an “ugly” mother which makes my heart aches when I think of it.
Yes, I believed “I turned out ok” until I awakened
The beautiful journey of healing and evolving through motherhood is one that I am deeply grateful for, but a childhood lived in fear is still something that no child should have to go through. Because we remember and carry it with us all our lives until we face it again at some point in adulthood, usually after dealing with a lot of suffering and destroyed relationships.
If you are using corporal punishment as a way to discipline your children, I have been there, I see you. I know the pain very well. If you feel guilt and regret about the way you parent, it is time to listen to your heart, break the cycle and leave a new legacy.
I am here for you, to help you navigate a new way to build a connected relationship with your kids.
Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™
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#isabelstafford #nospanking #noshame #wedontturnoutok #wecarryourpain #noviolence #inthenameofdiscipline #consciousparenting #empathy #connection
I support you with the hardest job of all, the raising of your precious children. I help you find joy, peace and ease dealing with your family challenges. I teach you to connect instead of divide by parenting through love. I work with parents who are committed to turning their family dynamic around, to bringing more peace to their homes and cooperation from their kids. In other words, I teach them how to stop yelling and punishing and how to parent through empathy and connection. Parents know when their approach is not working and when they reach out, I meet them right where they are, I offer them a judgment-free and confidential relationship, I guide them through their struggles, celebrate their successes and support them in their setbacks. After working with me you will feel confident about the best way to raise your children, you will feel a sense of peace and regain your joy knowing that every member of your family feels loved and valued, they are heard and they matter. You will be the parent you always wanted to be in the midst of any circumstance. I am a mother of three boys and I went from being the perfect parent in my fantasies to a “monster mom” in reality and in a matter of a couple of years after I had my first child. My world crumbled. It was chaos. And then I went to being a confident mom that gained her joy back thanks to a deep dive into conscious parenting, a long journey of inner work still to this moment and staying committed to being true to myself.
You may also enjoy:
A Child’s Misbehavior Isn’t Disrespect
Natural Consequences: How to Stop Punishing Your Kids
Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?
Why Punishment Doesn’t Work And What Does
Parenting Isn’t a Role, It’s a Relationship
Have Faith, Not Fear
Kids Learn Through What We Do
My kids’ first bully was ME
Our Kids’ Behavior is Telling Us They Have An Unmet Need
5 Steps to Building Self Awareness
