In the upcoming holiday hustle and bustle, it’s so easy to stress out and also stress our relationships. Let’s pause, breathe, center and reflect on our parenting purpose for a mindful holiday.
Psychology says the purpose of parenting is to provide a healthy bond for the child and thereby, become the foundation to launch into the world. Sociology says, the purpose of parenting is to socialize children to societal norms. Religious traditions may say the purpose of parenting is something else entirely. These perspectives are worthy.
Conscious Parenting
In conscious parenting, we must get honest with ourselves and admit, the purpose of our parenting may have been a bit narcissistic. We may have an underlying belief that our child came to fulfill some deep need of the own, as parents. We reveal it when we are embarrassed if our kids aren’t well-behaved, or if they don’t make good grades. When our kids are kind, we take it as a personal compliment. As they grow, we may have a desire for our kids to go into the “right career” or marry the “right person.”
Defining My Parenting Purpose
As I grew and changed in my own parenting journey, I saw my highest calling as a parent, was to support my child’s journey (not my journey through my child). Additionally, I came to believe that my role as a parent was to support more and guide less as THEY prepared for their future. They were growing into independent responsible, contributing adults.
I actually wrote down my parenting purpose and reviewed it regularly, especially in times of stress. Holding myself accountable to the parenting purpose that I defined, helped guide my communication with my kids. I reviewed it regularly and it helped me grow in the practice of compassion with them.
But I didn’t do it alone. I had a coach to remind me and help me stay true to the commitment I made to the parenting purpose I defined. It was such a positive process for me, that I became a parent coach.
Invitation
This holiday, if you haven’t already, take some time to define your parenting purpose. Reflect and meditate on it. It can truly become the foundation of every interaction for a mindful holiday and a transformative new year.
It’s 2020 and everyone is talking about transformation. You are overwhelmed and maybe a little scared. You have a tween, teen or launching young adult!
- Perhaps you are tired of walking on eggshells around your tween, teen or launching young adult?
- Maybe it’s the disrespectful communication from your teen or teen drama, that triggers you?
- Or are you secretly afraid your child won’t make it as an adult?
I felt all of this and more until I awakened to a new mindset and practiced respectful communication skills. The more I tried to control my two young daughters when they first entered their tween years, the more friction and distance their was between us. When I learned to share vulnerably from my heart with them, they drew closer to me and sought my counsel and support naturally.
I learned to listen so my teen daughters would open up and I learned how to share my heart in an authentic way that made them want to listen to me.
In fact, those former triggers I had about sassiness and teen drama, became the things we used to connect deeply. I learned how to read the “disrespect” I perceived as their own fear, and we got to the root of it, together. I learned when to engage and when to let go. We grew closer as a result. I was able to support their launch into young adulthood.
It wasn’t always easy and it was sometimes messy. There was a divorce and family illness in the mix and the time I spent as a single parenthood was tough. But today we have honest, mutually respectful relationships. Even as young adults they seek my advice.
I want to support your parenting journey and offer you the mindset and skills that I learned to you, to help you grow the close relationship you long for with your child at every step of their development and I want to support you to learn how to grow your own rich relationship with yourself so you are ready when they launch to enjoy all life has to offer.
What is Relationship Coaching for Parents and Tweens, Teens or Launching Young Adults?
Coaching sessions occur online at a time convenient to you. You learn how apply the communication skills I teach to not only support your teen’s growth but grow ways to become your most authentic self.
I am passionate about helping parents and teens co-create the relationships they truly long to build together. That’s why I became a parent coach to help families (even those in difficult times of transition) to cultivate a more peaceful home by communicating heart to heart. The approach is called conscious co-creation. It focuses on growing the awareness and skills that parents and teens need to jointly build the relationship that work for both. I can help you get Back on Track with your tween or teen.
Recently, I’ve been helping teens launch to college or their next stage of life also. It includes making adjustments to college life.
What issues do you deal with?
Parent and Teen Relationship Coaching: I help establish respectful communication and overcome communication barriers and breakdown.
For Parents: I help parents in conflict, navigating divorce, co-parenting, single parenthood and how to embrace and enjoy your empty nests.
For Tweens, Teens and Young Adults: I help with parent problems, homework hassles, digital dangers, dating and substance abuse. I am also a chemical dependency counselor. I have even helped teens deal with the pressures of college life or a new job.
How Can I Help You?
I offer individual or group coaching packages. I have also written a book with sample conversations of conscious communication and exercises at the end of each chapter, titled How to Raise Respectful Parents: Better Communication for Teen and Parent Relationships
What can I expect?
No blame, just support, skills building and a few suggestions for a complicated world! I offer a free Back on Track Assessment Call. If we are a match, you can enter private coaching or online group coaching.
Contact me at 956-250-3689 or email, Laura@LauraLReagan.com. If time is of the essence, consider my course, Tune Into Your Teen by Tuning Into Yourself. You can find it in The Family Alchemists University.
What are other parents saying?
Laura has helped me tremendously as a parent coach! My teen son and I were estranged following difficulties with his father. And the counselor we were going to, was unable to coach me to be able to reach my teen, beyond the fences and hurt walls that he’d placed between us. Laura stepped in and with great kindness, understanding and wisdom, was able to get me to change my entire approach to parenting my teen son. Our relationship underwent a radical change as I started implementing her suggestions and advice, and he and I are now affectionate with each other, communicating about big and small matters, without any blocks, and building trust again, thanks to Laura’s knowledge and coaching, she has so professionally, kindly and generously shared with me. -Priya B., mother of teen son
Laura was a Godsend to me. With all I learned, I feel a sense of calm empowerment for the first time in YEARS! I even feel a sense of calm about my teens’ future. Before, I felt my life was flooded in chaos, but she helped me practice positive communication skills that conveyed my heart. I always looked forward to our next session. I highly recommend her! -Linda E., mother of twin teen daughters
You may also enjoy:
Report Cards are Coming: 3 Choices Process to Help with Homework Challenges and Communication with Your Teen
How to Talk So Your Teen Will Listen: Consciously Navigating the Generation Gap with Co-Creative Communication
Surprising Teen Conversation Starters
Tough Love isn’t Parenting
Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses
So Many Approaches: Understanding Conscious Parenting and Other Parenting Styles
A Course for Parenting Teens
Holiday self care options for this weekend…
3 Tools to Calm in the Holiday Rush
Mindful Eating: 10 Steps to Create Pleasure and Ease Around Eating
