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How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...

WHAT DOES SPIRITUALITY MEAN TO YOU?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

A Course for Parenting Teens

My own conscious parenting journey led me to clearly see that every time I tried to control my teens, it didn’t work and isolated us from each other. Conversely, every time I shared my heart, including my fears without defense, we grew closer and solved problems...

Tantrums and meltdowns are one of the hardest things to handle as parents, it brings all sorts of feelings, fears, insecurities and a high level of anxiety. The confusing part is to understand where this is coming from, most parents believe it comes from the child, they blame the child for their emotional state. They often say things like “You are making angry”, “Don’t make yell”. And as long they blame others, be their child or anyone else for their actions, they will be always at the mercy of their conditioning reacting to their triggers and unable to do anything different. I love to teach parents about what’s really going on behind our automatic reactions, but my focus today is about what to do to take the first step towards connection when our kids are tantruming.

There is one first thing to do and this is a crucial step and the foundation of your parenting. It is to PAUSE. You can’t access consciousness without it. So, in other words, do nothing. This seems like an easy step but until you try it, you will realize that it is harder than you think, because what appears to be doing nothing, it actually requires a lot from you. When you pause, not to check it off the list but when you intentionally pause, you are dealing with ego, limiting beliefs, judgment, unhealthy patterns, conditioning, feelings, emotions, self-control, self-compassion, empathy, observation, etc. It is not easy to pause.

Why is a PAUSE so important as a first step? Because it sends a signal to your brain to get out of emergency mode, out of fight or flight. And why is this so important? Because only then you will be able to engage your thinking part of the brain and you will be able to gain control of yourself, activate your awareness and be the parent your child needs.

So, start practicing taking a pause and journaling your triggers, that’s all. This crucial step will start you off on the path of Conscious Parenting and you will never be the same. It will be the best gift for your kids and the world because we change the world by changing ourselves.

-Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™

#isabelstafford #firststeptoconnection #pause #tantrums #triggers #consciousparenting #limitingbeliefs #awareness #changeyourself #noblaming

 

 

 

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