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Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

A Course for Parenting Teens

My own conscious parenting journey led me to clearly see that every time I tried to control my teens, it didn’t work and isolated us from each other. Conversely, every time I shared my heart, including my fears without defense, we grew closer and solved problems...

Season of Love

We are so apt to forget that the motivation behind the holiday season is... Love. Love in all its forms, languages and expression. Love, engaging all senses, from smells in the kitchen to the sense of magic in the air. No matter what stress, busyness or even feeling...

Doing nothing is harder than you think

Tantrums and meltdowns are one of the hardest things to handle as parents, it brings all sorts of feelings, fears, insecurities and a high level of anxiety. The confusing part is to understand where this is coming from, most parents believe it comes from the child,...

Creating an Intentional New Year…

JOIN ME FOR THIS ONLINE EVENT. Do you ever feel like one year blends into another as time flies by? Does your New Years Resolution to be a more conscious and patient parent feel like a struggle? New Year Intentions are deeper than goals or resolutions as they use your...

Love is a circle

Love is a circle, and however wonderful the process of loving and appreciation is, and however uplifting and rejuvenating the process can be, the circle is completed when we remember that we too are loved. When we allow ourselves to receive the love that surrounds us,...

Tantrums and meltdowns are one of the hardest things to handle as parents, it brings all sorts of feelings, fears, insecurities and a high level of anxiety. The confusing part is to understand where this is coming from, most parents believe it comes from the child, they blame the child for their emotional state. They often say things like “You are making angry”, “Don’t make yell”. And as long they blame others, be their child or anyone else for their actions, they will be always at the mercy of their conditioning reacting to their triggers and unable to do anything different. I love to teach parents about what’s really going on behind our automatic reactions, but my focus today is about what to do to take the first step towards connection when our kids are tantruming.

There is one first thing to do and this is a crucial step and the foundation of your parenting. It is to PAUSE. You can’t access consciousness without it. So, in other words, do nothing. This seems like an easy step but until you try it, you will realize that it is harder than you think, because what appears to be doing nothing, it actually requires a lot from you. When you pause, not to check it off the list but when you intentionally pause, you are dealing with ego, limiting beliefs, judgment, unhealthy patterns, conditioning, feelings, emotions, self-control, self-compassion, empathy, observation, etc. It is not easy to pause.

Why is a PAUSE so important as a first step? Because it sends a signal to your brain to get out of emergency mode, out of fight or flight. And why is this so important? Because only then you will be able to engage your thinking part of the brain and you will be able to gain control of yourself, activate your awareness and be the parent your child needs.

So, start practicing taking a pause and journaling your triggers, that’s all. This crucial step will start you off on the path of Conscious Parenting and you will never be the same. It will be the best gift for your kids and the world because we change the world by changing ourselves.

-Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™

#isabelstafford #firststeptoconnection #pause #tantrums #triggers #consciousparenting #limitingbeliefs #awareness #changeyourself #noblaming

 

 

 

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