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Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...

WHAT DOES SPIRITUALITY MEAN TO YOU?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

In my work with women as an eating coach and Somatic Experiencing practitioner, I find that we rarely talk about food or our bodies, but rather trauma and pain.

In my experience, the focus on the body is a distraction from dealing with the more substantive and painful issues present in our psyche and in our lives. The elephant in the room is often developmental trauma/childhood trauma.

For me, issues around food and body aren’t about making myself more attractive, but to feel powerful and whole in my body.  When I find myself focusing on food or body, its simply like my own personal barometer. As in, ah ha, something must be up for me. What is actually going on? What am I avoiding? Where am I giving my power away?

And when we turn towards what we would rather avoid or resist, something naturally shifts internally. Sometimes it takes me hours or even days of avoiding before I can shift. And this state usually involves comforting with sweets, or some form of emotional eating to numb. And in my resistance to “what is,” my inner critic fires up. It can get ugly, and naturally a vicious cycle sets in fairly quickly.

But, shifting is possible. And of course, the earlier we can get to know the signs of our unique resistance–our own unwillingness to be present to deeply painful emotional states–the easier it can be to work with these states.

The next time you find yourself criticizing your body, or turning to food to soothe or numb yourself, see if you can gently pause. Notice the sensations in your body. Simply allow them to be here, without trying to change them.

And then notice any emotions which might be present. The greater the resistance, the more you will need to just sit with this. The emotional state may be deeply buried, and it may not feel safe to come out.

This is especially true for those of us who go numb or freeze our nervous system. It’s useful to remember that the numb state is a protective mechanism, and it’s a perfectly natural, and even a highly intelligent body response to a threat. It may sound silly, but simply reassuring yourself (actually this scared part of yourself) that all feelings are welcome here, and it’s safe to feel angry/sad/despair, can do wonders. This sense of safety can often help unlock a deeply held emotional state.

And then sometimes finding just the right thing–a mellow yoga class, a warm bath, a run, burrowing under your covers, listening to your all-time favorite sad song–lets the difficult emotions bubble up to the surface.

In my own experience, when I get past resisting “what is” and let myself simply experience whatever is arising within me (even if it’s yucky and seemingly unbearable), something magical happens. My body seems to breathe a deep sigh of relief, and says finally…it was never about the food anyway.

 

 

FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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