Dear Brave Ones:
Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others.
Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control over their lives than we do!
We have a special opportunity here to demonstrate how to deal with stress or what to do when we are overwhelmed and need to ask for help. This situation could actually build resilience skills in our kids.
Being as emotionally present as possible and staying connected heart to heart can ease their anxiety level and perhaps ours. Being transparent about the way we are dealing with our own anxiety can also pave the way to supporting each other.
Emotional connection in our relationships eases fear and anxiety. Here are some practical hints that may create an environment for connection:
1.) Set up routines.
Set flexible routines as quickly as possible since dependable order can facilitate a sense of calm.
2.) Be realistic about homeschooling.
It is not intended to substitute for school. It does not need to be the equivalent of an 8-hour day. The role of teaching or even supportive home learning packages should not be allowed to become primary in your relationship with your child. You are parent first, resource teacher second.
3.) Invite your teen to get back to nature.
The natural world is the best antidote for isolation and can prevent depression.
4.) Choice-making
Choice-making is the antidote to feeling trapped and powerless. Give tweens and teens as much control or agency in their lives as possible. If they can exercise healthy control over their own lives, they will feel better.
Examples:
– What type of pizza should we order for the family?
– Which chore do you want to contribute today?
– I have to go to the grocery store, only one of us should go in and I know how you hate grocery shopping, would you drive me so I can organize the grocery list? (Assuming your teen drives.)
– Maybe we should get out of ourselves and help the older neighbors. What do you think about mowing their lawn?
5.) Connection eases fear and anxiety.
You can ease their fear through connection. Try engaging them with open-ended questions or statements of invitation to check in with your kids about how they are doing.
Here are a few to try:
– How do you feel about your school closing?
– What do you miss doing with your friends?
– I know you’ve heard the news about the virus, what do you think about it all?
– What are you most afraid of?
Open-ended questions or invitations communicate, I’m here. I’m listening. They encourage your tweens and teens to open up. The truth is, our kids are longing for us to give them our undivided attention about their fears and anxieties.
But stressed teens can manifest their distress in excessive screen time, argumentativeness, complaining, defiance, disrespect or isolating to name a few. Don’t be afraid to share that you both may need help and support for working through some of your feelings and issues.
If you are worried about the way your tweens and teens are responding to recent events and you need help dealing with it as we all do from time to time, reach out for support. There are many more things you can both do to ease anxiety and one of them is to work with seek supportive resources and work with a coach. You can…
Schedule your Family Alchemist Transformation Call, www.thefamilyalchemists.com
Stay safe!
Love and light,
Laura
It’s 2020 and everyone is talking about transformation. You are overwhelmed and maybe a little scared. You have a tween, teen or launching young adult!
- Perhaps you are tired of walking on eggshells around your tween, teen or launching young adult?
- Maybe it’s the disrespectful communication from your teen or teen drama, that triggers you?
- Or are you secretly afraid your child won’t make it as an adult?
I felt all of this and more until I awakened to a new mindset and practiced respectful communication skills. The more I tried to control my two young daughters when they first entered their tween years, the more friction and distance their was between us. When I learned to share vulnerably from my heart with them, they drew closer to me and sought my counsel and support naturally.
I learned to listen so my teen daughters would open up and I learned how to share my heart in an authentic way that made them want to listen to me.
In fact, those former triggers I had about sassiness and teen drama, became the things we used to connect deeply. I learned how to read the “disrespect” I perceived as their own fear, and we got to the root of it, together. I learned when to engage and when to let go. We grew closer as a result. I was able to support their launch into young adulthood.
It wasn’t always easy and it was sometimes messy. There was a divorce and family illness in the mix and the time I spent as a single parenthood was tough. But today we have honest, mutually respectful relationships. Even as young adults they seek my advice.
I want to support your parenting journey and offer you the mindset and skills that I learned to you, to help you grow the close relationship you long for with your child at every step of their development and I want to support you to learn how to grow your own rich relationship with yourself so you are ready when they launch to enjoy all life has to offer.
What is Relationship Coaching for Parents and Tweens, Teens or Launching Young Adults?
Coaching sessions occur online at a time convenient to you. You learn how apply the communication skills I teach to not only support your teen’s growth but grow ways to become your most authentic self.
I am passionate about helping parents and teens co-create the relationships they truly long to build together. That’s why I became a parent coach to help families (even those in difficult times of transition) to cultivate a more peaceful home by communicating heart to heart. The approach is called conscious co-creation. It focuses on growing the awareness and skills that parents and teens need to jointly build the relationship that work for both. I can help you get Back on Track with your tween or teen.
Recently, I’ve been helping teens launch to college or their next stage of life also. It includes making adjustments to college life.
What issues do you deal with?
Parent and Teen Relationship Coaching: I help establish respectful communication and overcome communication barriers and breakdown.
For Parents: I help parents in conflict, navigating divorce, co-parenting, single parenthood and how to embrace and enjoy your empty nests.
For Tweens, Teens and Young Adults: I help with parent problems, homework hassles, digital dangers, dating and substance abuse. I am also a chemical dependency counselor. I have even helped teens deal with the pressures of college life or a new job.
How Can I Help You?
I offer individual or group coaching packages. I have also written a book with sample conversations of conscious communication and exercises at the end of each chapter, titled How to Raise Respectful Parents: Better Communication for Teen and Parent Relationships
What can I expect?
No blame, just support, skills building and a few suggestions for a complicated world! I offer a free Back on Track Assessment Call. If we are a match, you can enter private coaching or online group coaching.
Contact me at 956-250-3689 or email, Laura@LauraLReagan.com. If time is of the essence, consider my course, Tune Into Your Teen by Tuning Into Yourself. You can find it in The Family Alchemists University.
What are other parents saying?
Laura has helped me tremendously as a parent coach! My teen son and I were estranged following difficulties with his father. And the counselor we were going to, was unable to coach me to be able to reach my teen, beyond the fences and hurt walls that he’d placed between us. Laura stepped in and with great kindness, understanding and wisdom, was able to get me to change my entire approach to parenting my teen son. Our relationship underwent a radical change as I started implementing her suggestions and advice, and he and I are now affectionate with each other, communicating about big and small matters, without any blocks, and building trust again, thanks to Laura’s knowledge and coaching, she has so professionally, kindly and generously shared with me. -Priya B., mother of teen son
Laura was a Godsend to me. With all I learned, I feel a sense of calm empowerment for the first time in YEARS! I even feel a sense of calm about my teens’ future. Before, I felt my life was flooded in chaos, but she helped me practice positive communication skills that conveyed my heart. I always looked forward to our next session. I highly recommend her! -Linda E., mother of twin teen daughters
You may also enjoy:
Building a Connected Relationship With Your Kids Requires Leaving Fear Behind
My kids’ first bully was ME
Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?
A Course for Parenting Teens
Surprising Teen Conversation Starters
Natural Consequences: How to Stop Punishing Your Kids
Our Kids’ Behavior is Telling Us They Have An Unmet Need
Avoid the Back to School Morning Rush & Create Connection
Kids Learn Through What We Do
Why You Feel Angry Around Your Kids
