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How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...

WHAT DOES SPIRITUALITY MEAN TO YOU?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

A Course for Parenting Teens

My own conscious parenting journey led me to clearly see that every time I tried to control my teens, it didn’t work and isolated us from each other. Conversely, every time I shared my heart, including my fears without defense, we grew closer and solved problems...

I grew up in an alcoholic home. I am incredibly grateful that my family found recovery, but it was not until my adolescence and it came at a great price, my parents’ divorce.

Adult Children of Alcoholics Battle Cry: It Will Never Happen To Me

The battle cry of every child of an alcoholic is a firm commitment to not let “it” happen to us. We are passionate about doing better as parents and yet, 80% of us become alcoholics ourselves, marry an alcoholic or other compulsive personality, which includes choosing partners with mental health illness.

I am a recovering alcoholic with 19 years of sobriety. I’m grateful that my drinking career was relatively short, allowing my recovery to bring the consciousness to grow and change more rapidly with my daughters. But, I did not have the model for HOW to change.

Like many of you, I set out to learn all I could about the communication dynamics in an alcoholic home and mitigate the damage and trauma. I wanted my daughters to be as free of our generational baggage as possible.

I even got an undergraduate degree in substance abuse counseling and a Masters in Sociology specializing in communication dynamics; however, applying all that theory to real life proved to be quite a challenge. Moving away from the dysfunction of my family of origin and embracing recovery principles, did NOT mean that I had the awakening to my own spirit and emotions. My spiritual and emotional awakening has been of the educational variety and it took decades. And it’s not over. Its not a fixed mark but a state of being and a process of discovery.

The Path to Recovery

Alcoholic families unconsciously operate according to three rules as outlined by the pioneer in adult children of alcoholics’ work, Janet Woititz, 1.) Don’t talk, 2.) Don’t trust, 3.) Don’t feel. In this way, we perpetuate denial of the problem and keep the family secret.

Recovery means getting in touch with our feelings (sometimes it feels as if our feelings are thawing out) and then we share them in loving trust. In other words, 1) We Talk. 2.) We Trust. 3.) We Feel.

I became aware early in my parenting and recovery journey that I was re-parenting myself while I was raising my daughters. When they hit a new developmental stage, I found I had the opportunity to resolve what I had learned in my family of origin.

Recovery Paved the Way to Conscious Parenting

When my daughters were moody or withdrew, I remembered how that was shut down in my family of origin. I wanted to welcome their feelings in an emotionally safe environment. I was triggered by their retreat, but I worked on self-soothing, then creating an emotionally safe environment. I wanted them to feel their feelings and share them. I wasn’t always successful, but I was able to share my learning curve with them, apologize when necessary and continue to grow.

The 12 Steps for Parents in Recovery Awakens Conscious Parenting

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous not only helped me with my own recovery from alcoholism and co-dependency, but it also helped me make the conscious shift. I sought to break generational patterns in real and practical ways.

For me, the guidance and spiritual awakening which is THE result of the steps became my conscious awakening alsoApplying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

In the conscious parenting movement, many of us are re-parenting ourselves as we raise our children. We identify our triggers, often leading to inner child work, we identify enmeshments and become capable of taking personal responsibility for our own thoughts, actions and feelings. We practice boundaries which in turn, helps our children take full responsibility for their thoughts, actions and feelings.

My clients often identify with the dysfunction rules of not talking, trusting or feeling. They also seek a recovery pathway to awaken emotionally and spiritually. Identifying co-dependent behavior, drawing new boundaries through emotional presence and clear communication begins their journey to wholeness.

That’s why I have adapted the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous for the conscious parenting journey for parents of teens, The 12 Steps for Conscious Recovering Parents of Teens.

If you are ready to do a deep dive into the conscious recovery journey, I would love to work with you. Visit and schedule a Journey to Freedom Call.

You can also join our NEW Facebook Group, Parenting with New Freedom: Talk & Tribe for Conscious Recovering Parents to support the alignment of conscious growth with recovery principles.

 

FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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