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Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...

WHAT DOES SPIRITUALITY MEAN TO YOU?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

Let me start with a story of a friend who relayed to me that they felt guilty because they sometimes need space from their kids and needed to take time to take care of themselves.

Oh yes!! Now this is a juicy one because raise your hand how many of you feel guilty about taking time out from your family. Oh yes!! You who said ’No’ did you make sure your kitchen was sparkling and your kids had food before you went out – yes you do feel it though you might not acknowledge it. This is the one guilt I encounter the most with my clients, friends and colleagues. Being a mom many believe is equal to self-sacrifice which translates into ‘my feelings and needs’ are not as important as my kids’ or my husbands’.

Ever since I became a mom 13 years ago, I find that one constant feeling in my life that I encounter almost everyday: mom guilt. In talking to so many other moms they too feeling guilty because they stay at home and take care of the kids and your home; or you work and aren’t home enough. Guilt because you don’t make money and you feel that is seen as less worthy by someone else or because you don’t PTA or you didn’t keep your house clean, your kids are not perfect angels or they are not going to enough classes or going to too many!!! Mom guilt is prevalent everywhere. As far as I can tell whichever you flip a situation mom guilt is omnipresent.

I am here to shed light on this….if you are nodding your head or you think this is crap, either way read on.

1) Ignoring your needs: When you ignore your own needs and keep taking care of others, you either are constantly irritated, annoyed, depleted, angry; or you shutdown and just do what it takes without feeling it i.e. You also then lose the joy. So who is losing out?not just you but your family too!

2) Taking care of yourself once in a while by going out with your friends or date night. While these are absolutely great ways to rejuvenate, if this is all you are doing; the message you are giving is ‘I am only important once in a while’ or “ I only have fun when away from the kids” or “ I can only take care of me when others come along” And then comes… you got it!! Mom guilt!!

Ok so now if any of this resonates with you or triggers you, read on.…

First and foremost, your needs are as important as everyone else’s in the family. You have the power to make it a win-win situation. So I am asking you to empower yourself to take care of YOU!! And you are scratching your head as to how, here are some tips:

1) When you see the mom guilt coming, don’t avoid it, acknowledge and say thank you I accept you. Don’t go down the train of what-if and hold onto it. Let it go!

2) Take a little time to take care of you everyday-things that serve your heart, mind and soul. (Example: Take a walk, meditate, listen to music and dance, sing loudly in the shower/car/outside. I love the acoustics of my car so it’s my favorite place, paint, read, listen to something inspirational, cook yourself something you love and that nourishes your body and eat it slowly, embroider (one of my clients loves to do this to de-stress), journal.)

3) Ask for help from your family when it’s too much, your friends who will love to help you if ask them.

Take a small step today and many small steps will lead to massive changes. Share this with another friend and pay it forward.

– Yukti Rao, Family Alchemist, https://www.facebook.com/yukticoach/; www.yukti.net

#momguilt #momstryhard #yuktiscoachingcorner #thefamilyalchemist #yuktirao

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