From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we do. And for those of us who are the firstborn child, the pressure is even greater because we are the first example of our parent’s product.
There are many issues I see when parents want to raise copies of the collective ideal child. Children lose their own identity and start trading who they truly are for who they are told they have to be. Children lose the capacity to look within and follow their inner wisdom and they start relying on the external to live their life. Children grow with a sense of unworthiness and not being good enough because the ideal child is an unattainable goal. Children grow pretending to be someone they are not and this is basically living at war with themselves creating deep wounds that they have to heal later in their lives. Children grow into adults that are unable to maintain healthy relationships because they don’t live in alignment with who they truly are and their own values.
The question is, Is there another way to raise our children? Yes, OUT OF THE RACE
As conscious parents, we start with the concept that every human being is unique and this really helps us to get curious about who our children are and it helps us to honor their being by allowing them to unfold into who they truly are. This principle also helps us understand that if every child is unique, then there is no race they need to be in.
For us, adults raised to win the race, part of the inner work and healing of childhood wounds is understanding that we need to step out of the race and create our own lane.
-Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™
#isabelstafford #outoftherace #authenticity #weareunique #winninginlife
I support you with the hardest job of all, the raising of your precious children. I help you find joy, peace and ease dealing with your family challenges. I teach you to connect instead of divide by parenting through love. I work with parents who are committed to turning their family dynamic around, to bringing more peace to their homes and cooperation from their kids. In other words, I teach them how to stop yelling and punishing and how to parent through empathy and connection. Parents know when their approach is not working and when they reach out, I meet them right where they are, I offer them a judgment-free and confidential relationship, I guide them through their struggles, celebrate their successes and support them in their setbacks. After working with me you will feel confident about the best way to raise your children, you will feel a sense of peace and regain your joy knowing that every member of your family feels loved and valued, they are heard and they matter. You will be the parent you always wanted to be in the midst of any circumstance. I am a mother of three boys and I went from being the perfect parent in my fantasies to a “monster mom” in reality and in a matter of a couple of years after I had my first child. My world crumbled. It was chaos. And then I went to being a confident mom that gained her joy back thanks to a deep dive into conscious parenting, a long journey of inner work still to this moment and staying committed to being true to myself.