When we see parenting as a role we play, we not only give ourselves a mask to wear (or to hide behind), but we also give ourselves a list of characteristics or duties that that role implies. When we then “fail” the list which society has offered us, we can easily slip into a space of shame, guilt or overwhelm.
However, the simple step of reminding ourselves that parenting is a relationship between two people, sets us free. We feel open to be vulnerable, to make mistakes, and most importantly, to be ourselves.
Because the mask of the role keeps us disconnected and in a need to control. A relationship perspective opens us up to engaging with our child, seeing them as the person they are, and diving deeper into their why and their motivation.
Try it on. Walk into the room where your child is playing and remind yourself it’s a relationship. Your child will truly sense the shift and be more open and receptive to your words or company.
Allow yourself the relief of having a relationship with your child… and you’ll find those important “duties” that the role implies are either fulfilled effortlessly or simply fall away.
Thank you Bruce Scott, for sharing this beautiful perspective.
A child’s ability to laugh and play should be a lesson to us all. Scientists are showing that laughter is of huge benefit and that we don’t give it enough priority in our lives.
As parents, we can easily get into the space of To-do lists and “work now, play later” mode, putting off connecting with our child’s pleas to play or to laugh with us.
The important balance is to connect and laugh with our children while we work and check off those to-do list items. Laughter is contagious if we let it and our children are often simply reminding us to tune in to a healthier and happier state of being.
For more information visit these great links.
Strong willed children can be challenging to parent and yet it is their strong willed, independent nature that makes them the trail-blazing, passionate, leaders as they grow up. It is also their determination to be authentic to themselves, and not simply bend to what people want of them, that inspires us all to be more conscious parents.
After all. None of us really like to be told what to do, do we?
Developing tools of communication, fairness and teamwork creates a relationship based on honesty and consideration, which allows a strong-willed child to be simply highly spirited, passionate, playful, and independent human being.
As parents, we often start the journey thinking we want to be “in charge” or be in control. We can push, pull and scramble for it. However, when we realize that we can never have power over another person and we realize the need to be the powerful ruler of the house… a new power is found.
The power of love, understanding, perspective and intention transforms any need for control. For when we see life through the eyes of our children and develop the relationship for the inside out, we find the power of being ourselves and allowing our children to be the same.
How we treat our children is how they learn to treat others.
Children are consistently witnessing and observing us and the world around them. When we model kindness, they learn to be kind. When we model love, they learn they are loved. When we model support, they learn to love others. How can we offer a child a strong sense of kindness, love or consideration, if they are only criticized or judged?
Christina Fletcher is a Spiritually Aware Parent Coach and Energy Healer who specializes in helping parents become heart centered and aligned to their highest vision of their parenting and of themselves. Through her background and training in religious and self development studies, as well as spirituality and conscious parenting, Christina helps parents dive past the “shoulds” created from their upbringing and society, and release beliefs that hold them back to create authentic, connected relationships with their children, and themselves. Using mindset techniques, practical spiritual tools such as simple meditation, the law of attraction and positive focus, as well as her training and gifts as an energy healer, Christina gives space for a mom or dad to drop into the feeling of satisfaction, alignment and relief, so they can tune in to what their children truly need and work from a centered perspective. She gives practical and spiritual advice on how to tune into a child’s perspective as well as concrete tools to pass on self awareness and mindful living to children as young as 3, so authenticity, emotional awareness, communication and connection can be the foundation for the whole family. Christina is a homeschooling mom of 2 daughters, (ages 16 and 15) and a 9 year old son. She is happily married to her husband Jeff. When their girls were born 10 months apart, Christina parented as she thought she “should”. Scheduled feeds, nights of pacing the floor with crying babies, and getting mad as they got older, she knows what it’s like to feel overwhelmed and in tears through those early years. It wasn’t until her girls were 3 and 4 that she decided her happiness mattered and that she wanted to have fun again. The change transformed everything, creating a powerful relationship with her children which is stronger than ever now that they are teens. When she was pregnant with her son, she became passionate about creating a spiritually aware pregnancy, and her connection with her son prior to his birth was crucial through some family tragedy taking place at that time. This later became the topic of her first book. Christina is passionate about helping parents create deep relationships with their children, from birth until fully grown. But she also knows that deep relationships with others can only be formed from a deep relationship with yourself, so through courses, coaching and her writing, she offers tools for the entire family so they can truly become self aware and present as everything they really are.