If we were able to stop for a moment before we automatically shame our kids when they are misbehaving, and if we were able to think before we spoke or acted, most times we would change our reaction for a better response. Our conditioning takes the wheel every time we get triggered and if we are not aware we end up doing what was done to us and what we learned from others.
When I ask parents, Wouldn’t you love to raise your children based on values you have decided for your own family? Wouldn’t you love to have a relationship with your kids based on nurturing and intentional interactions?, I get a resounding YES. They have not chosen consciously to yell, threat, shame or spank their kids. This approach to parenting is the automatic response to the pain and brokenness they carry within and that unconsciously comes out when their loved ones trigger them.
We shame others because that’s what was done to us and we didn’t learn another way, we felt worthless for not being good enough and now when our kids don’t measure up to the image we have of them we repeat the cycle and our kids learn worthlessness because they will never measure up to the high standards we have for the child of our fantasies. The child in front of us is calling us to look within and heal and realize our inherent worth, it is up to us to pass down the pain or to end it with us and end the cycle.
If you are tired of feeling triggered and unable to manage your inner state before reacting to what your child is saying or doing, it is time to reach out to me or one of our amazing coaches here at The Family Alchemists. We will guide you on this path of Conscious Parenting and you will feel empowered to parent your child without the baggage of your childhood.
-Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™
#isabelstafford #shame #worthlessness #healandendthecycle #pauseandbreathe #youaregoodenough #consciousparenting
I support you with the hardest job of all, the raising of your precious children. I help you find joy, peace and ease dealing with your family challenges. I teach you to connect instead of divide by parenting through love. I work with parents who are committed to turning their family dynamic around, to bringing more peace to their homes and cooperation from their kids. In other words, I teach them how to stop yelling and punishing and how to parent through empathy and connection. Parents know when their approach is not working and when they reach out, I meet them right where they are, I offer them a judgment-free and confidential relationship, I guide them through their struggles, celebrate their successes and support them in their setbacks. After working with me you will feel confident about the best way to raise your children, you will feel a sense of peace and regain your joy knowing that every member of your family feels loved and valued, they are heard and they matter. You will be the parent you always wanted to be in the midst of any circumstance. I am a mother of three boys and I went from being the perfect parent in my fantasies to a “monster mom” in reality and in a matter of a couple of years after I had my first child. My world crumbled. It was chaos. And then I went to being a confident mom that gained her joy back thanks to a deep dive into conscious parenting, a long journey of inner work still to this moment and staying committed to being true to myself.
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