Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

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Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...


When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

Read more about Parent Coaching: Raising Children Consciously

Years ago it wasn’t about approaches or paradigms. It wasn’t about labels.

There were simply expectations and common practices to “handle” kids.

Children were expected to do what they were told, listen when they were spoken to, behave themselves and stay out of trouble. There were imposed consequences when they stepped out of line (some harsher than others) because a parent was “in charge” with unquestionable authority.

Yes, there were a few parents who strayed from the beaten track. They followed their heart and unconventionally parented from an integral, inner knowing.

No one knew what to think of these free thinkers. Their intuitive style raised eyebrows, but it wasn’t an “approach.” Rather it was an individual choice which often had outsiders judging these parents for their lack of “control.”

But life moves forward. We evolve. We expand.

And as the children of free-thinking parents grew up and became successful, innovative and inspired, the world’s perception of children, childhood and the common parenting perspective began to shift.

Soon studies on the mental health of children and the damage inflicted by shaming, punishment, and control were starting to pop up through the cracks, like plants through the concrete.

There had to be another way.

So, the positive parenting movement was born, and with that came sections, approaches, and followings, which continued to evolve and expand with each generation.

New parents are often thrown into the chaos of parenting “styles” and can be surprised by the number of scant looks, judging glares and “Oh… you do THAT approach” comments.

So in this article let’s break down a few of the approaches which will pop up in google searches, articles and posts for the parent who is diving into the rabbit hole of the parenting world.

Please bear in mind these are general definitions and aren’t set in stone.

What one parent calls attachment parenting another will call gentle.

We are in the time of formation of these perspectives.

The first approach that often comes up is Attachment Parenting

This loving concept recognizes that after birth a baby still needs to feel the closeness of their parent. Wraps, slings, baby carriers, co-sleepers are encouraged to keep a child wrapped and intertwined in their parents’ arms and love. Attachment parenting has shown to have incredible benefits on a young child’s development as they have the security of having their needs met consistently.

They grow within a surrounding of love and validation.

Now, as these children grow into 3 or 4 and they start to form new opinions and their desire to explore the world around them is stronger than their need for security, attachment parenting often leaves a mom and dad feeling unprepared.

This then gives birth to…

Gentle Parenting/ Progressive Parenting/Child-led parenting

The understanding that a child needs love and gentle treatment flows effortlessly into supporting a child’s curiosity and experience. Connection is key, through eye contact and validation for a child’s feelings.

Their needs are the driving force, which helps a child feel empowered and listened to. Natural consequences are used, rather than punishment or discipline. (Natural consequences help children understand that everything has a consequence, like a ripple in a pond, so if you lie no one believes you, if you hit, someone gets hurt and might hit you back.)

One of the challenges with these approaches is that a parent can often feel drained out. That while their child’s needs are being met, their own are being sacrificed. That the balance of a family has been forsaken for a child, and if there is more than one child in a family this can fill with conflict quickly.
This lack of self care can then lead to disconnection. Often catchphrases are suggested, such as “I hear what you are saying,” or “I know that you are feeling sad,” which validate a child’s emotional journey and suggests a present parent, but if a parent is feeling drained and overwhelmed the words can feel empty and distracted.

The concerns of this turning into “Permissive Parenting” can often spark some heated discussion.

A child following their own instincts and curiosity is a beautiful thing, but it can also lead to dangerous situations and a parent has to be ready to prevent injury as well as explain, discuss and distract so that a child can grow with the tools of awareness and safety.

What about…

Positive Parenting

Which is focused on Not Punishing a child, but the parent still being in charge.

The parent is seen as the leader, the voice of reason and experience that needs to be respected and listened to. When it isn’t, positive parenting varies from Time-Ins (which are the positive, contemplative, often accompanied version of Time-outs) to reward charts, to chore lists.

The challenge here is that often it can still tilt in the balance between the parent feeling like they have a role to maintain and the child is the child that needs to obey. Good behaviour is rewarded, and Bad Behaviour is deemed as bad. There can be a tendency to still not dive deep into motivation, but to get results.

Which brings us to…

Conscious Parenting

Conscious parenting understands that both parents and children are human beings.

As parents we have baggage, we bring with us our own childhood and how we were raised. We bring to our kids the beliefs we’ve been taught and the beliefs we wish to practice. We have good days, we have bad days. We are humans. Our children are human too. They have good days and bad days. They pick up on energy in a room and they know when someone is upset with them. They react to things, sometimes badly and as parents we can help them learn and navigate response.

The conscious parent movement embraces the opportunity for relationship and life tool building for kids. The idea of the Role of the parent is traded in for the relationship between people, so that a child can learn through experience how to treat others fairly, be kind, and know themselves. Conscious parents allow natural consequences except when it affects their child’s health or well-being, when they step in by holding loving limits to establish the child’s own healthy boundaries.  Before any action, conscious parents pause to see if they reacting from fear, or making a choice from presence.

Challenges for this approach are usually only found in the parent being unwilling to do the self work so that they don’t project their own pain onto their child, and the need for balance. Don’t look within yourself as a parent and you’ll miss out on the true nature of the conscious parenting experience. Don’t find the balance by looking within your child and helping them develop the tools to do the same, and it can turn into a parent’s focus being more within themselves than balanced between themselves and their family.


We’ve been raised to see the parent as the one in charge and the child as needing to obey and listen.

Most of these parenting approaches ask us to step away from that belief and rather, see a child as someone who is learning, sometimes stumbling, but actively growing and learning how to live on planet earth.

Of course, as people we know that this is actually a lifetime lesson, but as parents we weren’t supposed to be vulnerable to our own lack of knowing.
There’s also the fear of other people’s reactions, the raised eyebrow and playground whispers.

We can see our child’s tantrum as overstimulation, but it doesn’t stop that preconception that our children are “making a scene”, which brings embarrassed pink to our checks.

Conscious parenting and some of these other approaches acknowledge the embarrassment, track down the source of it, and then hold space for our child, helping them find balance and offering them tools in their own self-knowledge.

When you look back at those “free thinking” parents who followed their hearts and charted their own paths for themselves and their children, they paved the way well. They stood their ground and didn’t look back. They didn’t have definition but they also didn’t have community or coaches and experts to help and support them.
No matter what “approach” you resonate with, be open to the fact that within you is your own path. You may be uncategorizable. You may be your own Free Thinker. Trust your heart. Trust your child.

Focus on the loving relationship of it all.

Read more: Parenting Help: Finding Personalized Support is Easier Than You Think

FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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