When I thought about having kids and when they were born, my only desire was to love them, to take care of them gently and make them happy. I knew I wanted the best for them, but somehow everything changed when my kids started to be and act in ways very different from my perfect picture. Suddenly the unconditional love I wanted to give my kids was not there, the gentleness and happiness slipped away from our days. I went from loving mom to mean judge who yelled punishments for bad behavior and sat their kids in time outs to teach them a lesson. Tough love entered my home. I took away the most basic human right a little child has, the right to be safe from physical and emotional harm. The problem I didn’t see before was that I believed I was doing what was best for them. Conditioning is dangerous when we are unconscious because we are operating from the external programming passed down to us, in other words, our parenting decisions have been made for us already and unless we are aware of this, we automatically reproduce them with our kids or other relationships.
Every child has the right to be respected, loved and protected just like any other human. Anything that takes away the children’s rights is just a projection of our inner wounds and our own needs. A conscious parent is not perfect but is aware of his triggers and his inner state and he uses the moments when the child mirrors his pain to grow and then transform his relationship.
The words Though and Love don’t go together because deliberately harming a child is not an act of love. The problem is that most parents are left without another option, they don’t know what else to do. They have read every book and applied every technique out there. And nothing is working, Why? Because every parent-child relationship is unique and the wisdom to raise a child is not out there anywhere. It is within every parent, they just need to be able to access it.
So, what is the most authentic alternative to raising children? Conscious Parenting, which I call Conscious Love. Providing our child with a kind of love that allows us to look within and helps us be a better version of ourselves. This love provides the child the basic rights, and it is the kind of love that allows the child to unfold into who he already is and not the fantasy the parent had for his child.
How can you learn to love consciously? I invite you to reach out and work with me or any coach on our Family Alchemists team, we will guide you and help you to find the wisdom within you to raise your children into adults that don’t have to recover from their childhood. Take our quiz to see if we’re a match.
I support you with the hardest job of all, the raising of your precious children. I help you find joy, peace and ease dealing with your family challenges. I teach you to connect instead of divide by parenting through love. I work with parents who are committed to turning their family dynamic around, to bringing more peace to their homes and cooperation from their kids. In other words, I teach them how to stop yelling and punishing and how to parent through empathy and connection. Parents know when their approach is not working and when they reach out, I meet them right where they are, I offer them a judgment-free and confidential relationship, I guide them through their struggles, celebrate their successes and support them in their setbacks. After working with me you will feel confident about the best way to raise your children, you will feel a sense of peace and regain your joy knowing that every member of your family feels loved and valued, they are heard and they matter. You will be the parent you always wanted to be in the midst of any circumstance. I am a mother of three boys and I went from being the perfect parent in my fantasies to a “monster mom” in reality and in a matter of a couple of years after I had my first child. My world crumbled. It was chaos. And then I went to being a confident mom that gained her joy back thanks to a deep dive into conscious parenting, a long journey of inner work still to this moment and staying committed to being true to myself.