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Tough Love isn't Parenting | The Family Alchemists

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Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...

WHAT DOES SPIRITUALITY MEAN TO YOU?

When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

When I thought about having kids and when they were born, my only desire was to love them, to take care of them gently and make them happy. I knew I wanted the best for them, but somehow everything changed when my kids started to be and act in ways very different from my perfect picture. Suddenly the unconditional love I wanted to give my kids was not there, the gentleness and happiness slipped away from our days. I went from loving mom to mean judge who yelled punishments for bad behavior and sat their kids in time outs to teach them a lesson. Tough love entered my home. I took away the most basic human right a little child has, the right to be safe from physical and emotional harm. The problem I didn’t see before was that I believed I was doing what was best for them. Conditioning is dangerous when we are unconscious because we are operating from the external programming passed down to us, in other words, our parenting decisions have been made for us already and unless we are aware of this, we automatically reproduce them with our kids or other relationships.

Every child has the right to be respected, loved and protected just like any other human. Anything that takes away the children’s rights is just a projection of our inner wounds and our own needs. A conscious parent is not perfect but is aware of his triggers and his inner state and he uses the moments when the child mirrors his pain to grow and then transform his relationship.

The words Though and Love don’t go together because deliberately harming a child is not an act of love. The problem is that most parents are left without another option, they don’t know what else to do. They have read every book and applied every technique out there. And nothing is working, Why? Because every parent-child relationship is unique and the wisdom to raise a child is not out there anywhere. It is within every parent, they just need to be able to access it.

So, what is the most authentic alternative to raising children? Conscious Parenting, which I call Conscious Love. Providing our child with a kind of love that allows us to look within and helps us be a better version of ourselves. This love provides the child the basic rights, and it is the kind of love that allows the child to unfold into who he already is and not the fantasy the parent had for his child.

How can you learn to love consciously? I invite you to reach out and work with me or any coach on our Family Alchemists team, we will guide you and help you to find the wisdom within you to raise your children into adults that don’t have to recover from their childhood. Take our quiz to see if we’re a match.

FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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