Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...


When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

Read more about Parenting Infants, Toddlers, and Preschoolers

Going to a new school can be a scary time for all children.

Try to remember your last first day at a new job–you didn’t know anyone, where anything was, what the culture was like, what was expected of you or how to get it done. It’s the same experience for our children. I still remember the first day of 7th grade and being terrified of walking into a building I’d never seen before. I was sobbing in the car and had no idea what I was supposed to do or where I was supposed to go once I walked through those ominous doors in the old brick catholic middle school.

What makes all the difference for transitions like these, into school or anything else (new home, new classroom, new gym, even a new doctor), is creating a step ladder approach to introduce them.

What’s a step ladder approach?

It’s a way of introducing the new place or activity in several layers that build on each other. My daughter started kindergarten this year and these are all of the things that happened prior to her first day:

  1. In March, I attended a meeting at the school to learn about registration and decide if we’d attend this school. I took pictures inside and showed them to her when I got home.
  2. In April, I took her to the evaluation at the school. We walked around together afterward.
  3. In May, I drove her up to the school. We looked at the playground.
  4. Also in May, her preschool took her there for a big tour.
  5. During the summer, we read books and talked about school and drove past it any time she wanted.
  6. In August, we went to a school event in the park where staff and other students were present. Then we went to her playground and she played on it for 30 minutes. We had her room assignment by then so I held her up to look in the windows of her new room.
  7. At the end of August, we attended her open house where she got to meet her teacher and give her a painting she’d made of the two of them. We toured the room afterward and looked at EVERYTHING, especially any space designated as hers. We even checked out the bathroom.
  8. Her first day was half of the students and they went on a big tour of the school with their teacher. We took her as far as we could and then she was ushered into a group of her classmates.
  9. Then her first day of school with everyone. She walked in in the morning like it was absolutely no big deal!

So the idea is that you gradually introduce the new place in as many ways as you can — if you can’t physically go there, try to find pictures, make a book about it, watch videos about similar activities/places, read books about it, etc. 

If the transition is to a more independent stage, then you’ll do something similar and keep introducing it in layers. For example, as you transition a child to sleeping alone in their bed, you may start by sleeping in the room with them and gradually move further away each night as well as talk about it, read about it, make stories together about it, and incorporate any objects that help them feel more connected to you and safe, such as pictures, your shirt, a special light or stuffie, or even a ribbon going from their room to yours that they can pull to feel connected to you.

How to Create a Step Ladder Approach to Help a Child With Transitions:

  1. Identify the end goal
  2. Think from the goal backward to identify the very first step that would start to introduce the activity or place to your child
  3. List all of the ways you could build on that first step to reach the end goal, adding as many naturally progressive steps as possible
  4. Gently lead the child through each step in a reassuring and empathetic way.

The goal isn’t to pass on any anxiety you may have about the transition, but to familiarize them with it so they can feel empowered and balanced emotionally when the end goal is finally reached.

If you need any help mapping out a step ladder for your child, reach out to your Family Alchemist™ for help!


FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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