The misconception is parents believe that to accept their child as-is means to allow them to do whatever they want. But what this is truly about is about letting go of the ideas about who the child should be and should act at a given moment, it is about learning to be comfortable with our kids’ uncomfortable feelings and it is about stopping wishing that reality was any different.
Why? Because the moment we surrender to the as-is, we release control and create connection; and when we connect with our child and really see them, they feel unconditionally loved.
How can we accept our child as-is? We need to override our conditioning and retrain ourselves to accept reality. If our child is having a tantrum, instead of wishing he stop and taking actions to make him stop, before we react, we Pause, Breathe and Accept, not the behavior but the fact that our child is in an emotional state where the situation became too much for him to handle, now he lost control and he needs help regulating because he is a child. When we make this shift instead of wanting him to stop we start becoming curious about how our child might be feeling and how we can emotionally coach him.
-Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™
#isabelstafford #accepttheasis #acceptyourchild #pause #breathe #connect #letgofotheshoulds #dontfightreality
I support you with the hardest job of all, the raising of your precious children. I help you find joy, peace and ease dealing with your family challenges. I teach you to connect instead of divide by parenting through love. I work with parents who are committed to turning their family dynamic around, to bringing more peace to their homes and cooperation from their kids. In other words, I teach them how to stop yelling and punishing and how to parent through empathy and connection. Parents know when their approach is not working and when they reach out, I meet them right where they are, I offer them a judgment-free and confidential relationship, I guide them through their struggles, celebrate their successes and support them in their setbacks. After working with me you will feel confident about the best way to raise your children, you will feel a sense of peace and regain your joy knowing that every member of your family feels loved and valued, they are heard and they matter. You will be the parent you always wanted to be in the midst of any circumstance. I am a mother of three boys and I went from being the perfect parent in my fantasies to a “monster mom” in reality and in a matter of a couple of years after I had my first child. My world crumbled. It was chaos. And then I went to being a confident mom that gained her joy back thanks to a deep dive into conscious parenting, a long journey of inner work still to this moment and staying committed to being true to myself.
You may also enjoy:
Breathing Space
Kids Learn Through What We Do
Whiny Kids can’t just “Stop Whining”
Let Me Love You a Little More
A Child’s Misbehavior Isn’t Disrespect
Tough Love isn’t Parenting
Why Punishment Doesn’t Work And What Does
Shaming Isn’t Parenting
Accept Your Child As-Is
Our Kids’ Behavior is Telling Us They Have An Unmet Need
