Updates on The Family Alchemists

Hi Friends, When I created The Family Alchemists in 2018, I had a really big vision and mission of connecting people to the resources they need to grow. I have so many amazing professionals in the Conscious Parenting space as friends and was determined to help them...

How Recovery Principles Pave the Way to Conscious Parenting

Applying the 12 steps to my parenting helped me practice boundaries, communicate with integrity and ultimately BE loving and tolerant.

Conscious Communication Skills

In times of great social change, we look for the things we can control. We may not be able to predict the future for ourselves or our teens, but we can control how we communicate. The way we communicate reveals what we value and how we value it. I longed to connect...

How to Save a Marriage

So, you’re an empath married to a guy that treats you like a queen – most of the time. But those times he’s angry? You question if you’re more like your mother than you thought. You worry that his behavior is going to hurt your kids and that you’re being irresponsible...


When I have a chance to actually discuss the topic with clients, it is very simple to explain my view of spirituality, understand my clients’ perspective, and come to a common ground semantically (and often philosophically). I notice I regularly attract people who...

Helping Your Kids During Coronavirus Social Distancing

Dear Brave Ones: Of course, we’re scared. That means it’s the time to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others. Can you imagine how scared our kids are? Their routines have been disrupted and they miss their teachers and friends. They have less control...

Out of the race

From the moment we are born, we are part of a race we never wanted to be in, we are measured by milestones and compared endlessly with any peers we share our life with. We are numbers in charts and checkmarks in lists of accomplishments, in other words, we are what we...

Mindful Parenting Through the Everyday Stresses

In the fast paced world of parenting where decisions are made in between spilled cereal, constant questioning and smartphone apps, it is no wonder the word mindfulness is becoming as necessary in a parent’s vocabulary as the word nap-time. And yet, for many,...

What our children ask of us

Our children ask so little really. Listen to my discoveries and ideas. Look through my eyes to understand my world. Feel my love, joy, frustration, pain. Hold my hand, my heart and me close. Be careful with me and understand me. I may feel off sometimes, when the...

Elf on the shelf, Magic of well-behaved kids?

I was already familiar with conscious parenting when the Elf on the Shelf became popular a few years ago, I found out about it when my kids were toddlers and I heard stories about him moving every night and being a fun addition during Christmas time. I was excited to...

Read more about Parenting Infants, Toddlers, and Preschoolers.

A typical scenario in everyday parenting is: Your child is whining and the solution to address his behavior is to tell them to stop whining. This is the most common reaction from parents.

When we tell our children to stop their behavior we are not trying to help our child but we do it for ourselves because we don’t want to hear it, because it is an annoying sound, because we are busy and don’t want or can’t deal with it at the moment, because we are tired and want to get to the next thing in our agenda, because we expect our child to use their words, because we think he shouldn’t be whining, because because because. Whatever the case may be, anything we do from this perspective it is not going to address the root cause of the whining and is not going to help our child in the moment or in the future.

The best way to handle whining is to look at the deeper issue. There could be many reasons why a child whines and our job as parents is to get curious about what that reason is. This is caring about our child’s experience and allowing him to get through it and learn what he needs to learn to feel empowered in the future.

It might help to look at it this way, when our child is hungry we don’t believe we are rewarding our child by feeding them, the same way when our child is whining he is communicating a need in the best way he knows and we are not rewarding our child by helping him meet that need.

So, instead of asking your child to “Stop Whining” I invite you to try this instead:

  • Pause: a way to stop our unconscious reaction to the behavior is to breathe. This is key!
  • Empathize: see the situation from your child’s point of view.
  • Get Curious:  try to see what’s the cause of the behavior
  • Find the Need: see what’s the need
  • Solve Things Together: guide or help the child to meet his need

To learn more about holding space for your child’s emotions, read Our Children’s Big Feelings.


FREE: How To Finally Get Your Child To Listen And Act By Understanding Their Development And Getting The Best Behavior Out Of Them… Even In The Hour Before Bedtime. Yes, Really.

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